I know I probably sound like a broken record (and will continue to), but I want to thank you all again for the tremendous support you have given us. I feel like the Lord has prompted people to reach out and encourage us in one way or another, and it's such a blessing right now. I've had some people ask how things are going, so I thought I would post a little update.
24 weeks with our little guy (woohoo!). We won't go back to the doctor for a couple more weeks, so the only thing I have to report are the movements and kicks I feel throughout the day (and sometimes at night). Oh, how I am thankful for those! We were sitting as supper the other night and the kids were talking nonstop, all the while their baby brother was doing some sort of aerobic workout with plentiful kicks and jabs. I smiled as I realized I had all four of my kids there with me. Such a sweet and wonderful thought...and not one this Mama takes for granted.
Some have asked how I'm doing, and to be honest it varies from day to day. Some days I'm filled with tremendous peace and others are downright hard. I struggle to keep my mind on the day at hand and not worry about the future... or start dwelling on the past and how things could have been different. I'm thankful that when I am so low, the Lord is good to provide comfort...even if that comes from a chance encounter with a friend or a text from someone with the perfect words for that moment.
Trials like these can leave us with so many unanswered questions. Sometimes it's difficult to understand why God allows things to happen in life that are just so painful. But, we recently watched a video at church that left me in awe of how GREAT our God is (if you want to check it out click here....so, so good!). I was reminded that we can't begin to think like God or understand how He orchestrates everything together in our lives. The brokenness we experience on this earth is almost unbearable, but praise God, He can work all of our brokenness for good.
I grinned as I thought of our two year old. There is no reasoning with Elijah at this stage of life. He wants what he wants, and he wants it now. Any failure to comply only leads to a dramatic spiral of despair which is often displayed by him flinging himself to the ground in a crying mess.
Exhibit A: Mom said no to rubbing cream all over his face. What does he do but rubs it all over his face.
Exhibit B: Mom said no to coloring all over himself. Picture a perfectly chubby little boy with marker decorating his entire body.
Bless his heart, what he fails to understand is that I love him. I absolutely adore him. I want THE very best for him....even if that means telling him no or asking him to wait.
But let me tell you...This boy has my heart! It's not a perfect illustration, but how similar it must be for me with the Lord. There are so many things in life that my limited understanding can't begin to comprehend. So much of the picture that I can't see . So many times I fail to see how he is working all things (even painful ones) together for our good. I'm thankful for a heavenly Father who loves us so much...who truly wants the best for us...and is patient to help us along the way.
All of this thinking kept sending me back to the words, "His ways are higher...so much higher." Before I knew it, more words came and I had written a little song. Music has always been such a blessing to me at such difficult times. I sat at the piano and was filled with hope to know that one who created the stars not only knows me, but loves me, and is working ALL things together for good. When I dwell on how BIG God is and remember how small I am, I know that nothing is too hard for Him. Simple surrender brings such peace.
The song I wrote is based on these two verses that are everything to me right now....
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."
1 Corinthians 2:9
So here's another laundry room recording. I wish it were more polished and perfected, but I'm simply praying that someone hears it today and finds some sort of encouragement in knowing that God loves us. He has a plan for us that is good, and we can trust Him completely. Thank you for your continued prayers!
I could dwell on all the could have beens
Let my mind play out all the what ifs
Where my thoughts swirl with all sorts of doubt and fear
Or I can choose to simply trust His plan
And be brave though I don’t understand
And believe that He’s working something good in me
His ways are higher, so much higher
Than we could ever comprehend
His ways are better, so much better
Than we could ever understand
Lord in weakness I cry, unveil my eyes, give me strength to stand
And see the beauty that lies in surrendering to Your plan.
I have learned as I walk with You
That You’re good, faithful, and true
And though there’re times I cannot feel you near,
You're always here
And you’re love for me is deep
It’s enough to meet my greatest need
Every day You’re giving me the grace to boldly say
His ways are higher, so much higher
Than we could ever comprehend
His ways are better, so much better
Than we could ever understand
Lord in weakness I cry, unveil my eyes, give me strength to stand
And see the beauty that lies in surrendering to Your plan.
No eye has ever seen
The plans You have for me
It’s amazing, You’re amazing, so amazing
No mind could ever know the blessings You bestow
It’s amazing, You’re amazing, so amazing
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